Monday, January 25, 2010

My poem as Mcpherson woods and Freedman school



Photo 2
Mcpherson woods

The smell of gun powered
the dead bodies on the
ground the sound of
people yelling is all
around

If they had any housesense
they wouldn't send these people
out here seeing the elephant to fight

They made these woods into
a battle ground this is are
woods and they should give
it back clean just like it was
before they came

They don't care about the way
we live they don't care about
each other they came out here
yelling and shooting at each other

These people are crazy I wish
they would go away these woods
was queit and smelled great before
they came.

now it's just a bloodie death zone.

Mcpherson woods














Photo5 - school


Freedman's man school














As my doors open to start


a new day I see new faces


right away to me I never


seen such colorful faces




These people look different


talk different and act different




If only the paper collar man


would get to know these people


they will find that they are smart


harding working and fun to be around




They learn how to spell thier names


and mines I'm starting to see these


people as my family the days they


don't come i miss them it's dark and cold


when there not here.




with this change I learned alot


I learned to love and care about


people who don't look like me.




At frist I didn't know what to expect


but getting to know them I don't regret


allowing these children to become there best .






1 comment:

  1. Great use of slang in your first poem. Could use a little more background into the battle.

    Your second poem is very good, and is more descriptive and telling.

    Some small errors that you can fix for maximum points. As is 54/60

    ReplyDelete